The Shopping Gene

Is this a chromosome that only women possess? I ask this because of today's experience with my husband - which is basically the same experience everytime it happens. However, like childbirth, women must forget about the pain and hope that the next time will be much different.

I sent my husband out with a list - yes, today, on Christmas Eve. What was I thinking? But it was very basic: a birthday card for his nephew, a half gallon of skim or 1% milk, orange juice, a cake taker (if he could find one) and wrapping paper. Oh, and I asked him to put gas in my car and get some money out for those cash gifts - including the birthday gift. He was also going to find this swimming store to get me one more Christmas present that I wanted - a digital lap counter for my finger - I thought they might have one. He's never been to that store (neither have I) and I told him it's proximity and the other stores in the strip mall. All of this was written down on paper.

Two hours later - here is what he came home with. Gas in the car and wrapping paper (3 rolls, although one would have been fine. I guess you can't have too much Christmas paper) - successful. A 1/4 gallon of skim milk (ok, that's close), a Christmas card (not exactly the birthday card I needed) and a gallon jug of orange juice - ok he got that one right and he got the money we needed for cards. The rest of the time he cruised around looking for the swimming store that he could not find.

No cake taker - he said Target does not carry them. While he was gone, I thought of a couple more things I needed and knew he likely wouldn't find the cake taker. So off to Target I went at 11:30 a.m. At Target, I immediately found a cake taker for $4.99 (perfect) and the other two items I needed. I stopped at the bank for cash and found the swimming store right where I said it would be - although it was closed. I also picked up a sub sandwich for lunch and was home by 12:04.

I call that outstanding! Now why couldn't he do that?

Oh and on the digital lap counter - he asked me for another gift idea for Christmas. I gave him a link to it on a website so he would know what I was talking about and then explained that he could probably find it at that swimming store since it wouldn't arrive in time for Christmas via mail. Later he told me that the website charged $5 for shipping unless you had a $60 order - I said "Didn't you read the email that said where to go buy it?" - "Oh, was that in the email?"

Why do I bother.....

Happy Holidays - HO HO HO

Our local Shop N Save offers $10 off a $50 purchase every Thursday. Every Thursday is a madhouse at the store. I always forget about the Thursday-deal and attempt to go out for a few things on, you guessed it, Thursday. Last week the lot was completely filled -- so I went to another store to shop. Sometimes saving $10 just isn't really worth it.

Today, same problem. I absolutely need to get my grocery shopping done and once again, it's Thursday. I figure I will bite the bullet and do my shopping and grab my share of the $10 savings. There's a new twist on this whole thing. Everyone has figured out how they can get all their shopping done and take home more than a $10 savings. They bring extra family members and use extra carts. So that, if you were going to spend $100 or so, you would now be trailing along two carts.

What does this mean? It means the aisles of the store are doubly or triply (probably not a real word) crowded. And why do they have to have a multitude of displays blocking my path? You can't move your cart down the aisles, nor can you get close to the items that you wish to purchase without dodging and reaching around - lots of "excuse me"s being said.

This also means that the checkout lines are also doubled or tripled or worse - oh yes, those long lines snake down into the aisles. Doesn't this just sound like loads of fun? The store has done a good job of having checkers at all the registers.

You also get someone who parks their cart (sometimes with or without a person) while others are running around trying to make sure they've got everything they need and there's shouting - "Is this right." "No, I want the other brand" or maybe "get two of those." And, they all bring their little kids. Little kids run down the aisles (not exactly a doable task on this evening), walk backwards, lolly-gag walking down the aisles or scream at the top of their lungs.

Now, the coup d'etat - half of these people are talking on their cellphones the entire time they shop. Seriously, do these people take their cellphones to the bathroom with them - do they talk while they shit? Aghhhhhhhhhhh!

Semi-Skilled

Maybe I'm only half a person. Well, that's how I feel about my capabilities as a human being. I don't seem to be very good at anything - emphasis here is on VERY. I do seem to be somewhat good at a great number of things.

For example - I was always a good student. Always brought home good grades - never quite good enough for that college scholarship though. Being a good student though makes your parents very happy - that's a good thing.

My kids think I'm pretty smart. That's because I know about a lot of things. I don't know a lot about any one thing - but I do have a wide range of knowledge. Comes from being a good student and having a semi-photographic memory. What I don't know, I usually make up. And I do it in such a way, that most people believe me. The problem is, I usually end up doubting myself and questioning the answer I just gave - even if it is entirely correct.

I can kind of play the piano. I can read music, but I can't always translate it from my brain to my fingers. I'm also somewhat disabled in that I have very small hands - and feet - but I'm a larger person. I think there's a name for that, but I can't quite remember what it is.

I wish I could sing or dance - sometimes I think I can do these things, but those are generally when I'm sleeping or imbibing - ok, you're right, this is not a good thing. I love to listen to someone who can sing or watch really good dancers. One of my favorite shows is So You Think You Can Dance - love that show. Another one was Rock Band which was only on for 2 seasons - but those people on those shows are phenomenal.

I wish I could be an artist. You know that I tried, but whatever part of the brain that controls or affects artistry skills, just doesn't function on all cylinders. My house is decorated but I could never make it look like something you would see in a magazine. Same things with gardening - although I think my lack there is just plain laziness. I just don't want to spend the time it takes to design and layout a very nice garden. So I have a semi-nice garden and I keep trying different things until I come up with something I like. Oh yes, and I'm cheap too - another limiting factor.

I wish I could write. I did really well in school with papers and such, but that is just because I have a knack for organizing a lot of other people's thoughts in one place to support a thesis. I think my blog is kind of OK - it is a good way for me to put my thoughts into words. But I run into the same problem as with gardening, I get too lazy to think about just the right words to use or come up with something really clever - I'm usually a few days behind with the clever statements. I can come up with a few from time to time - but I have a definite delay before it comes to fruition.

I wish I could be a good athlete - no check that, a great athlete. Well, now that I'm 55 the odds of being outstanding in the overall community are rather slim. I can strive to be outstanding for my age group and I do try to do that, but I'm not convinced I can get there due to lack of skill and that damn laziness factor. When I was growing up, I was athletically involved as much as a female could be back in those days. My parents were fully supportive of active children - they were great about that and I did the same with my kids. I grew up in a swimming pool and had some nominal success. I played volleyball, basketball and softball. I tried my hand at gymnastics. I tried out for everything at school - cheerleading, pom poms, band/flag twirling, etc. with no success at all. I'm an OK triathlete today and get to win my age group in local races - mostly because no one else shows up - but that's OK too, since I'm out there trying as hard as I can to win.

Overall, I could generally feel defeated about my lack of success in all those things that I wish I could do and on some days, that is exactly how I feel. But, when I look at where I am today, I have to feel pretty successful. I have to wonderful, grown up, independent children who can take care of themselves and their families. In this day and age, that's damn good. So I'm really thankful about that.

Even though I consider myself semi-skilled, I have a great job as vice president of a company and pretty much the go-to person with all the answers - go figure (it's really that I can convincingly make up a good answer) - so I should be grateful for that - and I am.

I didn't do so well in my first marriage, but have a wonderful husband now that I have been married to for 19 years. He says he's happy - so I'll buy that and consider myself lucky to be married with a nice place to live and a comfortable lifestyle.

So, why am I whining you might ask? It's because of the fact that I've never been fully satisfied with what I have that has made me semi-successful and semi-skilled. So I guess I'll just keep trying to be more than what I am until I am no more. I don't think that's a bad thing at all!

Oops I Did it Again

So, an update on the whole bike wreck debacle is that bruises are fading (yay!), stitches are out of my elbow and my lip is all healed with minimal scarring. Ah but, the elbow.....since it was such a deep wound the scab is about 1/4 inch thick - do you know what that feels like? It feels like something that you just need to pull off - but it is not cooperating. In fact, everytime I mess with it, it gets a little puffy and sore - and today it had some pus exuding from it. I hope I have not done irreparable damage - meaning, I hope I don't have to go to the doctor and have them inflict another source of pain.

But this is a little off-track as it relates to my title. In the true Britney Spears-sense of the phrase, I went out running this morning. It was a brisk 40 degrees and my friend and I took off trying to keep warm. About a mile into the run, I felt a twinge in the joint of my right leg. This should be a signal to me to STOP and stretch or just STOP - but do I listen to those signals - of course not. I am an IDIOT who feels like it will just work itself out. So I continue on with the run, slowing somewhat because it is beginning to hurt. Than about 2.5 miles into the run, I decide to stop and stretch because the pain is increasing - but at this point it is probably too late. I do stretch for all of about 15 seconds - don't want to keep my training buddy waiting - and continue on grimacing the final 1.5 miles.

I can tell when we have finished running that this is not a good pain. In fact, when I get home I have to limp around because the pain is so intense. I did about 5 minutes of stretching and then I took my shower and got ready for work. Then I hit the 8 hour Tylenol - aspirin combo in hopes that the pain and any swelling will diminish - no not just diminish, but go away.

So, as of now, I feel a little better, but limping is still in order. I hope this isn't anything long term and that by Saturday I can be back to my stupid painless self.

Does it sound like I'm beating myself up - that is because I am.

I have made my elbow worse because I can't be disciplined enough to leave it alone and now my hip/leg is very sore and that is because I do not listen to my body when it says it needs to stop.

There you have it.

60 Miles Short of a Century

Ah yes, can you imagine starting the day around 60 degrees knowing that it wasn't going to get above 80 and you are off on your very first century ride. Ride the Rivers - doesn't that even sound fun? You get to start at a casino, cross the Missouri River, ride through the city and a couple of college campuses (Wash U and St. Louis U), ride along the Mississippi River, cross the River into Illinois - ride along side the Alton canal, ride a couple of ferries before getting back across the Missouri and riding back to a bar to celebrate your ride.

Oh, it sounded so lovely....my friends were all going.....couldn't get any better.

You know by now that there is a big BUT coming up - BUT, it will take me awhile to get there.

Start out by having difficulty with my tire pump - apparently a very key piece had fallen off the pump so air wasn't really getting into the tire. I found that piece a few days ago and didn't know what it was - but knew it looked familiar. I know I put it somewhere that I could find it because I knew it would be important - BUT (number 1), I couldn't find it. I did manage to force air into my front tire, BUT (number 2) heard something pop. Thought it was the tire BUT (number 3) it wasn't. Tried to pump the back tire and it flatted out. Maybe that was the pop? So I assumed there was a problem with the tube and got a new one. Got enough air into the tube to get it on the tire and on the wheel, BUT (number4) couldn't get the wheel back on the bike. The brake was closed too much and I couldn't get it on. My husband tried to help me with no success and I ended up yelling at him. I even yelled that I knew it wasn't his fault BUT (number 5) I was yelling anyway. I threw the bike in the back of the car and hoped someone at the ride start would be able to help me out.

One of our tri club members was there and he figured out that the brake just needed to be released at the handle and it opened right up - go figure! He got my wheel on and now I'm ready to go with everyone else. Of course, my Garmin also decided that today was not the day to work and wouldn't stay turned on - should I have read all of this as a premonition?

We got started on the ride and it was a great day. We stopped at the first rest area and proceeded onto the next stop where we were to meet up with one more friend. At one point of the ride we got on a trail that goes along the Mississippi River. I broke in my first road bike on this trail and felt soooo comfortable. A little wind at our backs, and we were cooking right along. For some reason, the ride had us exit the trail and out onto a main road. I didn't know why they did that as that trail should've taken us all the way to the 2nd stop. I'm figuring we were about 2 miles away from our next stop and were approaching a yellow light. There were three of us in a line and I was at the back. I yelled to go on through but for some reason, the lead rider hit the brakes, the second rider hit the first and I hit them both. Oh my gosh, here it comes, get ready for the impact and then BOOM! My face hit the pavement - I knew it hurt and I just laid there for a few minutes. A lot of other riders came by to assist us - bikers are really good about that and one even had a first aid kit.

When I got up, I realized that my elbow was pretty scraped up and my lip felt like it was huge. I was able to stand up and got a big bandage on my bleeding elbow. Went to look at my bike and therein lies a major problem - back wheel is pretty bent up. Joe (Rider #1) thought a semi was going to pull out into the intersection and hit his brakes which started the pileup. His bike also had a mangled back wheel but physically he was in great shape! Tori (Rider #2) had a big chunk missing out of her helmet - but thankfully, not out of her head. THANK GOD FOR HELMETS - if this doesn't make you want to wear a helmet, I don't know what would. She did have a swollen wrist (her Polar watch broke off from her wrist) and her hip was very sore.

If it wasn't for the injuries to the bikes, we would've made an attempt to continue onward - at least to the 2nd stop. Our friend waiting there is an athletic trainer and she would be very qualified to triage our injuries - but no luck with the bikes, so we were forced to get the sag wagon to take us back to our cars.

What a sad death march that was - of course we were all grateful that our injuries were minimal, but our spirits were broken and poor Joe was having emotional issues as he felt that he caused the wreck - they just don't make bandaids large enough to cover that type of injury.

Post ride injuries turned out to be a little more involved than initially thought. Tori ended up going to the ER as she could not put any weight on her leg. Luckily, xrays were negative. For myself, I had a protrusion from the wound on my elbow that looked really weird. I opted for an urgent care center and found out that was muscle hanging out. They ended up taking an xray (negative) and suturing the wound. Stitches have to stay in for 2 weeks - no swimming until that happens.

Bikes are at the local bike shop waiting to be repaired.....could've been better but could've been worse.