The Shopping Gene

Is this a chromosome that only women possess? I ask this because of today's experience with my husband - which is basically the same experience everytime it happens. However, like childbirth, women must forget about the pain and hope that the next time will be much different.

I sent my husband out with a list - yes, today, on Christmas Eve. What was I thinking? But it was very basic: a birthday card for his nephew, a half gallon of skim or 1% milk, orange juice, a cake taker (if he could find one) and wrapping paper. Oh, and I asked him to put gas in my car and get some money out for those cash gifts - including the birthday gift. He was also going to find this swimming store to get me one more Christmas present that I wanted - a digital lap counter for my finger - I thought they might have one. He's never been to that store (neither have I) and I told him it's proximity and the other stores in the strip mall. All of this was written down on paper.

Two hours later - here is what he came home with. Gas in the car and wrapping paper (3 rolls, although one would have been fine. I guess you can't have too much Christmas paper) - successful. A 1/4 gallon of skim milk (ok, that's close), a Christmas card (not exactly the birthday card I needed) and a gallon jug of orange juice - ok he got that one right and he got the money we needed for cards. The rest of the time he cruised around looking for the swimming store that he could not find.

No cake taker - he said Target does not carry them. While he was gone, I thought of a couple more things I needed and knew he likely wouldn't find the cake taker. So off to Target I went at 11:30 a.m. At Target, I immediately found a cake taker for $4.99 (perfect) and the other two items I needed. I stopped at the bank for cash and found the swimming store right where I said it would be - although it was closed. I also picked up a sub sandwich for lunch and was home by 12:04.

I call that outstanding! Now why couldn't he do that?

Oh and on the digital lap counter - he asked me for another gift idea for Christmas. I gave him a link to it on a website so he would know what I was talking about and then explained that he could probably find it at that swimming store since it wouldn't arrive in time for Christmas via mail. Later he told me that the website charged $5 for shipping unless you had a $60 order - I said "Didn't you read the email that said where to go buy it?" - "Oh, was that in the email?"

Why do I bother.....

Happy Holidays - HO HO HO

Our local Shop N Save offers $10 off a $50 purchase every Thursday. Every Thursday is a madhouse at the store. I always forget about the Thursday-deal and attempt to go out for a few things on, you guessed it, Thursday. Last week the lot was completely filled -- so I went to another store to shop. Sometimes saving $10 just isn't really worth it.

Today, same problem. I absolutely need to get my grocery shopping done and once again, it's Thursday. I figure I will bite the bullet and do my shopping and grab my share of the $10 savings. There's a new twist on this whole thing. Everyone has figured out how they can get all their shopping done and take home more than a $10 savings. They bring extra family members and use extra carts. So that, if you were going to spend $100 or so, you would now be trailing along two carts.

What does this mean? It means the aisles of the store are doubly or triply (probably not a real word) crowded. And why do they have to have a multitude of displays blocking my path? You can't move your cart down the aisles, nor can you get close to the items that you wish to purchase without dodging and reaching around - lots of "excuse me"s being said.

This also means that the checkout lines are also doubled or tripled or worse - oh yes, those long lines snake down into the aisles. Doesn't this just sound like loads of fun? The store has done a good job of having checkers at all the registers.

You also get someone who parks their cart (sometimes with or without a person) while others are running around trying to make sure they've got everything they need and there's shouting - "Is this right." "No, I want the other brand" or maybe "get two of those." And, they all bring their little kids. Little kids run down the aisles (not exactly a doable task on this evening), walk backwards, lolly-gag walking down the aisles or scream at the top of their lungs.

Now, the coup d'etat - half of these people are talking on their cellphones the entire time they shop. Seriously, do these people take their cellphones to the bathroom with them - do they talk while they shit? Aghhhhhhhhhhh!